The Cross-Check:

The Official National Newsletter of the Exclaim! Hockey Association of the Arts

Vol. 1 Issue 1 – June 2005

Contents

I. Introduction

II. From The Desk of Tom Goodwin

III. Exclaim! Hockey Summit 2005 Stats and Awards

IV. Upcoming E!HAA Events

V. Cross-Canada Cross-Check: team updates

VI. E!HAA Player Profile: Kim Temple, Guelph 3 Gut Feelings

VII. Exclaim! Cup 2006

I. Welcome one and all to the first edition of the E!HAA national newsletter, hereby known as “the Cross-Check” (special thanks to the Victoria Humiliation’s Scott Gray for coming up with the perfect moniker). The existence and need for this newsletter is proof positive that the Exclaim! Cup and its interests have grown beyond the boundaries of Toronto, emerging into a truly national community of like-minded artists and hockey enthusiasts. The primary purpose of this newsletter is to provide communication between managers, teams and teammates as to who is organizing what, when, and how. No more will you say to yourself “I wish I knew more about the Carleton Cup, I might actually participate had I known there was an opportunity to race on the famed Rideau Canal!” With the preliminaries out of the way, we will kick this first edition of the Cross-Check off with the man who started it all…

II. From the Desk of Tom Goodwin…

Thank you to Grant Lawrence for getting the ball rolling on this. As our hockey Rogues’ Gallery grows, I hope this newsletter will build on the fantastic spirit that we’ve created every Exclaim! Hockey Summit weekend. I have no doubt it will. Community and fun are what we’re all about and there are numerous aspects to this. I hope this newsletter can tap into all the different aspects each month in all its coverage. Fundamentally, I often refer to what Ken Dryden said once… He was asked what the best era in hockey was and he answered that the best era was when you were a kid. If we can re-capture, or capture, just a hint of that innocent excitement hockey can bring, without all the adult vices that enter into it like malice, intimidation, elitism etc…, we’ve done a noble thing..

We’d love to hear any stories or see any photos or video footage you have from the Exclaim! Summit weekend weekend. If we can’t get it in the newsletter, we’ll do our best to post it on the website. For that matter, send us anything you might want to share with us that is related to hockey, the Arts or the E!HAA in general.

Your Arts and Hockey buddy,

Tom Goodwin

Founder & President of the E!HAA

III. Exclaim! Cup 2005 Results

The 2005 Exclaim! Cup Round Robin Standings
	GP	W	L	T	PFG	PM	GF	GA	Pts.
Eh Division
Pool A
Boom	3	3	0	0	0	16	10	3	6
Sgt. Rock	3	2	1	0	0	16	10	9	4
Long & McQuade	3	1	2	0	0	16	8	9	2
Porcupines	3	0	3	0	0	31	1	8	0
Pool B
Dufferin Groove	3	3	0	2	1	6	8	6	4.5
Jokers	3	2	1	0	0	16	10	8	4
Morningstars	3	1	1	1	0	26	8	7	3
Bovine Sex Club	3	0	2	1	0	22	6	11	1
Frank Frederickson Division
Pool C
Capsule Music	3	3	0	0	1	10	11	6	6.5
Peterborough Pneumonia	3	2	1	0	1	18	11	6	4.5
Wheatfield Souldiers	3	1	1	1	0	12	7	7	3
Ottawa Songbird Millionaires	3	0	3	0	2	2	5	10	1
Halifax/Dartmouth Ferries	3	0	3	0	1	12	6	20	0.5
Pool D
Edmonton Green Pepper Gong Show	3	3	0	0	1	4	15	5	6.5
Fluid Living Arseholes	3	2	1	0	1	12	7	6	4.5
Nightmares	3	2	1	0	0	12	9	7	4
ChartAttack Hack	3	1	2	0	1	6	7	9	2.5
Gas Station Islanders	3	0	2	1	1	16	6	8	1.5
Zed Division
Pool E
Humiliation	3	2	0	1	1	16	15	8	5.5
Vancouver Flying Vees	3	2	1	0	1	12	4	4	4.5
Fruit	3	1	2	0	0	11	8	11	2
Hockey Lads	3	0	2	1	1	6	7	11	1.5
Pool F
London Fog	3	2	1	0	1	8	9	9	4.5
Montreal Ninja Tune Wicked Deadly Karate Chops	3	1	1	1	2	2	7	8	4
La Hacienda Flying Burritos	3	2	1	0	0	12	12	6	4
Guelph Three Gut Feelings	3	0	2	1	1	6	3	8	1.5

Semi-Finals

Eh Division

Boom 3
Jokers 1

Sgt. Rock 6
Dufferin Groove 5 (Overtime)

Frederickson Division

Arseholes 0
Capsule Music 4

Pneumonia 2
Gong Show 1

Zed Division

Humiliation 4
Karate Chops 0

Flying Vees 3
Fog 2

Finals

Eh Division

Sgt. Rock 1
Boom 2 (overtime & Shootout)

Frederickson Division

Pneumonia 0
Capsule Music 3

Zed Division

Humiliation 2
Flying Vees 0

Awards

The Ultimate Exclaim! Cup Champions (awarded to the team that shows the most sportsmanship, spirit, charity, showmanship and involvement): Songbird Millionaires (Ottawa, ON)

Zed Division Champions: Victoria Humiliation (Toronto, ON)
Runner-up: the Flying Vees (Vancouver, BC) in the Finals

Frederickson Division Champions: Capsule Music (Toronto, ON)
Runner-up: the Pneumonia (Peterborough, ON) in the Finals

Eh Division Champions: Boom (Toronto, ON)
Runner-up: Sgt. Rock (Toronto, ON) in the Finals

Smells like Millionaires Team Spirit Award: Songbird Millionaires (Ottawa, ON)

Dominion Award (awarded to the team with the most-inspired performance at the Hockey Hootenanny): Songbird Millionaires (Ottawa, ON)

The Lady Bong (awarded to the team with the least amount of penalty minutes): Ninja Tune Wicked Deadly Karate Chops (Montreal, QC)

Peter Kesper Award (Awarded to the player that exemplifies the most spirit and perseverance): Ray Henderson of the Pneumonia (Peterborough, ON)

Most Valuable Player of the Tournament: Mike Thompson of the Victoria Humiliation (Toronto, ON)

Most Valuable Goalie of the Tournament: Andrew Ternan of Boom (Toronto, ON)

Neilson Tie (awarded to the player showing the most colour and panache at the tournament): Blake Jacobs of the Songbird Millionaires (Ottawa, ON)

Also, a great amount of non-perishable food was collected for the Daily Bread Food Bank. We collected 2 guitars; a Tyler Stewart autographed songbook and many guitar straps and tuners for ArtsCan Circle. As well, we raised a total of $1260.60 to help all the players that lost money in their travel arrangements with the Jets Go bankruptcy. Thanks to Shaun Johnston for all his efforts in pushing this fundraiser throughout the weekend.

IV. Upcoming E!HAA Events

Toronto: The Good Times Hockey League of the Arts is in the process of creating a fun summer “fantasy” style league comprised of players from various teams in the GTHLA. At the moment, it’s four teams and six games over the summer with the teams being created through a draft. For more information, email tom@exclaimhockey.ca.

Montreal: On the weekend of November 12 and 13, 2005, the Montreal Ninja Tune Wicked Deadly Karate Chops are hosting an as-yet-unnamed E!HAA-sanctioned tournament featuring five out-of-town teams, as well as the host Ninja Tuners. Come for the hockey, stay for the poutine and trashy all nude breakfast diners. Special celebrity guest referees, after parties and healthy doses of separatist humour in the stands courtesy of various French girlfriends. For more information, email jeff@ninjatune.net.

Peterborough: The PATCH CUP is a tournament being held on Saturday, October 8^th, 2005 at the Peterborough Memorial Centre in Peterborough, Ontario. The tournament in designed to put players together onto new teams thus promoting camaraderie within this already amazing association. 60 players and 8 goalies will sign up and be drafted onto 4 different teams as chosen by 4 GM’s. This year’s GM’s will include Stephen Cribbin (Victoria Humiliation), Tom Goodwin (Morningstars), Tommy Gough (Hockey Lads) and Chuck Molgat (Wheatfield Souldiers). For more information, email patchcup@yahoo.ca.

Vancouver: Much like Ninja Tune in Montreal, the Vancouver Flying Vees are currently attempting to franchise their own Exclaim! Hockey tourney event out on the west coast in the fall/winter of 2005, dates pending The goal is to start small with six to eight local teams, but any interested E!HAA teams should get in touch by emailing gtwelve@aol.com.

Ottawa: The Carleton Cup, aka "The Ultimate Canadian Triathlon" (skate*run*drink), is a race that has taken place in Ottawa since 1989. It involves skating the length of the Rideau Canal, making your way safely through the Byward Market in downtown Ottawa to finish by taking a sip of the beverage of your choice at a local watering hole. Racers traditionally raise ‘pledges’ for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation as well – the race is in fact a “triathlon-a-thon”. The 2006 Carleton Cup is scheduled for January 28. For more info, email me_luther@yahoo.com.

V. Cross Canada Cross-Check: An update on the teams of the E!HAA…

3 Gut Feelings (Guelph): Two members of the Feelings are busy with rock n roll this summer. Vish Khanna and his band the Nathan Coles Outfit are recording an album for release this fall. They are currently recording with Don Kerr at the Gas Station and will be performing at NxNE in Toronto, as well as the Ottawa Blues Fest and the Hillside Fest in Guelph. Kim Temple will be playing drums for the Hidden Cameras on their Scandinavian tour (read more on Kim in the E!HAA Player Profile this ish!)

Bovine Sex Club (Toronto): To the Exclaim! Cup Family: I would like to thank Tom and all the volunteers and players in the Exclaim! Hockey Family for four years of fun and hockey day and night during the Exclaim! Hockey Summit. After careful consideration, I have decided to retire the Bovine Sex Club hockey team from this competition effective immediately. I would like to personally thank the Bovine players past and present for their participation in the on ice and off ice portions of the event. – Darryl Fine.

Dufferin Groove (Toronto): The Dufferin Groove Hockey Club puts on an outdoor music festival every year at the end of the summer at Dufferin Grove Park. This will be the third annual event which is confirmed for Saturday August 6th. In addition to the 3 bands representing our team, we often have bands from other teams (Guelph 3 Gut, Parkdale Porcupines, etc.). The whole day 11am to 11pm is usually filled with bands, although the lineup will not be set until July. For more information, email tim.freeman@sternerautomation.com.

Ferries (Halifax-Dartmouth): A quick note from the dockyard… the Ferries are still in shock over losing this year’s Lady Bong Trophy, congrats to whoever the hell won it. A word of advice though, watch out fer The Hip. Last year’s is gaining a rich patina. Check out Ferries defenceman Steve Rolston and his group o' knuckleheads King Konqueror, on their newest mash up, Fist Magnet, available every where. Congrats to Ferry Chris Murphy and his outfit The Sloan, they have a greatest hits package in the shops right now. Worth every penny lane. Finally, on a related hockey note, GO Rimouski!

Flying Vees (Vancouver): The Flying Vees returned home from their miracle sophomore run at the Exclaim! Cup to immediately leap into Duffers Spring League action in North Vancouver. To date, the Vees’ spring season record is an impressive 8-1-1, with goalie Grant Lawrence sporting a division-best .092 GAA.

The team also just completed the First Annual Flying Vees Fishing Derby in the beautiful, warm waters of the Howe Sound. The Vees spent a day soaking in the west coast sunshine while reeling up a total of 17 fish, three sea cucumbers and one giant sun star. Grant Lawrence and Vees rookie Graham “Fitness” Freeman split the top prize of $75.00 for both landing gigantic ling cod that were of seemingly identical weight and length (even though Grant still thinks his was bigger).

In personnel news, Brian “Lattatude” Latta can currently be seen as the “coming-on-strong-guy” in the recent Labatt’s Blue advertising campaign; Scotty “the Talker” Walker and his band the Salteens are putting the finishing touches on their new album; “Killer” Beez just became a new owner of Mint Records; and congratulations to Jeremy “Bomber” Bidnall on his engagement to Amanda “Plumtree” Braden.

The Fruit (Toronto): The Fruit Hockey Club will be without two key members for most of their notoriously rigorous off-season training session as goalie/bassist Brian Kobayakawa and guitarist/centre Brad Keller hit the road with their band The Creaking Tree String Quartet.

The band will travel from their Toronto home to Winnipeg, where four or more Exclaim! Hockey teams will be represented at the Winnipeg Folk Festival. From there, they head through Saskatchewan, Alberta, The Northwest Territories, The Yukon, B.C. and some parts of the USA before returning to home and hockey two months later. For more details visit www.creakingtree.com

Gas Station Islanders (Toronto): The 04/05 Good Times Hockey League (GTHLA) Playoffs (zed division) finally wrapped up May 15 as the Gas Station Islanders played their 9th consecutive playoff game of the season. After winning the previous two best-of-3 series in the third game (2 of them in overtime) the Islanders were on familiar ground as they split the first 2 games of the final series with Winnipeg's Wheatfield Souldiers.

Alas, the Islanders fell in game three, ending the team's best post-season run in history. Congrats to Wheatfield, the Humiliation and the Parkdale Lads for some great hockey.

The 05-06 season promises to be even better. A couple of former Islanders will be making a surprise return to the team and a mandatory skate-sharpening program will no doubt make us an even greater force to be reckoned with this fall.

Congratulations to Don Kerr and Rob Weir on their upcoming nuptials. Don will be spending the summer touring as the drummer for Ron

Sexsmith. Also on the road are RheostaticsTim Vesely and Dave Bidini and frequent Islander/Sloan drummer Andrew Scott, who will be pulling double duty next season with the Isles and the new Eh Division squad the Parkdale Nightmares. Islanders forward Nick Purdon can be heard regularly on CBC Radio's Definitely Not The Opera during the summer. The rest of us are going to the cottage. See you in September!

The Jokers Hockey Club (Toronto): Captain Ted Bisailllion, Tyler Stewart, Marc Hickox, and Steve Chamberlain were in attendance for the opening game of the Memorial Cup in London. Although the calibre of play between the London Knights and Rimouski Oceanic was higher than that of the 2005 Exclaim! Cup, the rink rock left something to be desired. Post-game beverages were enjoyed with members of the London Fog, but the Jokers were unable to avoid injury. Shifty winger Steve Chamberlain went down with an ankle injury while attempting to score late in the evening; there was no call on the play.

Ninja Tune Wicked Deadly Karate Chops (Montreal): On July 23 we head to NY for the 4th bi-annual Calice De Tabarnac Cup against our NY rivals The Central Park Army. The Central Park team is the regular squad for one of players that's based in NY. It of course puts him in a dilemma each time as to where his allegiance lies and sometimes causes momentary lapses of remembering what side he's on (as witnessed by his sweet clearing pass right in front of the net resulting in a goal last time he played for the NY side).

Also, after our black jersey vs. black jersey showdown with La Hacienda at the last E!Cup, we're finally getting it together for that alternate jersey. Expect a hot design of the classic Nordiques logo.

Ottawa Songbird Millionaires (Ottawa): After going winless in the E! Summit Round Robin (0-3), the Millionaires went on to pull off an amazing sweep at the Awards Ceremony, collecting an unprecedented four out of seven awards, including the Ultimate Champions trophy. The Millionaires are spending the summer formulating a plan to create more “balance” in their overall showing at next year’s Summit, as the team is having their own Summer Summit at forward Andrew “Puke” Geddes’ summer cottage, known to many on the team as “Camp Danger”.

Pneumonia (Peterborough): Busy organizing the Patch Cup!

Rubber Road Red Rings (Exeter ON): Rubber Road Records and the Rubber Road Red Rings would like to announce that "The Chickens" will be performing at The Horseshoe Tavern on June 18th (Saturday), along with label mates HOLY MICROPHONE. This will be a local only pre-release for Holy Microphones new CD titled "Goodbye Television Girl". The national release will be in September. Anyone involved with E!HAA that would like to attend this show should email Fred Robinson for a 50% discount at the door. tjpf.robinson@sympatico.ca

Also, The Chickens will be performing at Detroit's Masonic Temple on June 10th. This will be a benefit concert for James Anders’ family. James played bass with Darren McCarty’s band Grinder. James tragically passed away on May 3rd 2005 due to heart complications. Please see www.grindertheband.com and www.thechickens.com

Sgt. Rock (Toronto): After losing in the Exclaim Cup tournament Eh division final to Boom in a shootout, Sgt. Rock beat Capsule Music in the GTHLA Eh division playoff final 4 – 0, winning the best 2 out of 3 series, 2 games to 0. We are insanely proud to hold the Neilson Cup in our possession and have been taking it out with us and drinking from it in public frequently. This debut season in the GTHLA has been an incredible experience, getting to know one another and solidifying the Sgt. Rock family. The Exclaim! hockey community is the best in the world.

In Sgt. Rock personnel news, a short film made by Actor/Forward, Marc Aubin, and Actor/Writer/Defenceman, Jeremy Harris, called “R.U.U.” recently received the Audience Choice Award at the Canadian Independent Short Film Showcase, screening at the Varsity Cinema in Toronto. You can watch it yourself by clicking here: http://www.darkcirclepictures.com/mov/RUU2.mov. Actor/Forward, Mikey “Shakes” Mazeika, just finished portraying a Canadian hockey player, circa 1905, for CBC’s History of Hockey. He sacrificed his sideburns for the role. Actor/Forward, Tony Nappo, just commenced shooting a John Singleton film, “Four Brothers”, with Mark Walberg and Andre 3000. Actor/Forward, John Robinson is presently shooting a movie with Kelly Lynch.

Victoria Humiliation (Toronto): Mark 'Left-Hook' Simmons, #67 of the Humiliation, just returned to Toronto from the L.A. screening of Cinderella Man. Mark makes his film debut as boxer Art Laskey - a role for which he got paid to punch Russell Crowe in the face.

Wheatfield Souldiers (Winnipeg): After finishing the 2004/05 Good Times Hockey League of the Arts regular season first overall in the Zed Division, the Winnipeg Wheatfield Souldiers rallied back from a one-game deficit in the playoff finals to defeat the Gas Station Islanders in the best-of-three championship series.

Having clinched a first-round playoff bye, the Souldiers started their run at the cup against the Guelph Three-Gut Feelings, who succeeded in eliminating the floundering Fruit in two straight games. Though outclassed by the Feelings in the sportsmanship department (Guelph finished the regular season with the lowest penalty-minutes total in the league), Winnipeg's Golden Boys managed to dispatch the Three-Gut side in two games straight. In classic GTHLA style, though, it was difficult to distinguish victor from vanquished at the spirited post-series celebration hosted by Parkdales nearby Rhino Bar & Grill.

Meanwhile, the Gas Station Islanders managed to better the Humiliation in an extremely close three-game series, the final match of which was decided by penalty shots. The winning tally was netted by tenacious Islanders defenseman Dave Bidini, who had been conspicuously absent for the previous two games, both of which were decided by single goals. Noticeably lacking from the Humiliation lineup was star forward Luke Moretti, who was away working on a film shoot in Wawa, ON throughout the hotly contested series.

Though statistically inferior to the Winnipeg side, the Islanders managed to upset the Souldiers 3-0 in game one of the championship series. Game two, however, was played out on Mothers Day, affording the Souldiers a distinct advantage attendance wise, as the vast majority of the squad's respective moms still made their home in the Manitoba capitol, thus negating brunch obligations. That match was sealed by a score of 2-3 in favour of Burton's Boys, and featured a stunning, game tying breakaway marker by Souldiers defenseman-turned-power-forward Chuck Molgat.

That set the stage for a third and final game, the importance of which was lost on neither Souldiers net minder John Sutton nor fellow keeper Jordan Stewart, as both goalies eagerly dressed for the occasion. Unlike the previous two contests, the Wheaties took an early command of the game, going up 2-0 by the end of the first period. The Prairie side netted another goal in the second period, before goalie Sutton graciously handed over a shut-out performance to partner Stewart - just as he had done midway through the team's successful championship game of the 2003 Exclaim! Cup Hockey Summit. Though solid under the intense pressure of the Gas Station players, Stewart conceded a single goal to Islanders forward Tim Vesely who capitalised on a mad scramble in front of the 'Peg net. The tally would prove to be too little too late, though, as the Souldiers scored a fourth goal late in the third frame to ice the victory and secure the handsome Zed Division trophy, expertly designed by Hockey Lad Tommy Gough.

Following an elated victory lap with the gleaming hardware, Wheatfield Souldiers captain Chuck Molgat commended the Gas Station Islanders on a close, hard-fought final series.

"That first game was a serious wake-up call for us," said Molgat, who, after posting just two goals during the regular season, managed to lead his team in playoff scoring with five goals and three assists in just four games. "Coming back after being down a game, that makes this feel even more rewarding. I tell ya, we couldn't have asked for a better, more fun series, though. Those guys have got absolutely nothing to hang their heads about, that's for sure."

"We already had a bit of a rivalry going with the Gas Station before," Molgat added. "Like, in the last two Exclaim! Cup tournaments we've tied each other in the round robin. So this opens up a whole new chapter. It'll definitely be fun to see what happens next season. But for now, we're gonna enjoy this."

VI. E!HAA Player Profile: Kim Temple

Team: Guelph 3 Gut Feelings

Hometown: Toronto

Jersey number: 21

Nicknames: Kimmy T., Temple Threat, Threat

Shoots: Left

Position: Left Wing

Band(s): Currently in These United States, Decoy, Bodega, Blackeyes,

Nerdy Girl, touring with the Hidden Cameras.

Instruments played: Anything you let me, but mostly the drums.

How old were you when you learned how to skate / play drums?: Still haven't learned how to skate but actually took drum lessons.

Who taught you?: Jim Blackley, bebop guru.

Greatest Hockey Moment: Getting a puck in the gut deflected off of Felix Potvin's stick at Maple Leaf Gardens - I got to keep the puck!

Greatest Music Moment: Belting out Heart's "Crazy On You" at this year's GTHLA fundraiser under the musical direction of Chris Murphy.

Your Hockey Hero: Mark Pindera (Winnipeg Wheatfield Souldiers).

Your Rock n Roll Hero: Dave Grohl

Favourite pre-game meal: Big League Chew

Your most memorable moments of the Exclaim! Cup 2005: Playing at Varsity Arena for the first time, witnessing the Ottawa Millionaires' Hootenanny, cheering the Victoria Humiliation on to their big win, Vish's 3 Gut rap and scoring a Vancouver Flying Vees girly Tee.

Your thoughts and solutions on the current NHL Lock-out: CBC has got to start broadcasting GTHLA games.

One thing you would change with the Exclaim! Cup: Have a different Canadian host-city every year.

Your next game: July 17th @ 5pm McCormick Arena, Toronto (exhibition).

Your next gig: Touring Europe and Scandinavia drumming for the Hidden Cameras.